Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
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I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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