let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
