i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He shit in the fireplace
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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