...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
