I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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