I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
