No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
