I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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