He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
