i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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