please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
