finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
