I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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