During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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