break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
