How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
