you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
