are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
this will be a night to untag.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
