I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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