you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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