his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
