Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
pray to the hookup gods
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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