i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
