i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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