he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
