I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish you could order shots online.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
