Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
