No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
