I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
