I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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