dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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