Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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