I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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