he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
