"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
