he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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