you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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