Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
