Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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