her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She's the barista slut.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
