Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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