I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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