I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize