This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
