I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
