Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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