? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
