I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
