Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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