my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
