Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
