it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
