i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
