It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
