I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize