i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
