I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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