he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
