Do vagina's smell?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am available for nakedness
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize