shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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