On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
