Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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