no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize