Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
