i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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