you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
