HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
