Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His hands were made for my vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
