lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You are the jesus of drinking
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
