I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
