yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
