My Higher Power is John Stamos
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize